I wish to release my pain.. Noone can help me i noe..
Ching wasn't eat whole day already.. No mood to eat.. Of coz parents r worrying.. I m so SORRY to them abt this.. But i cant speak it out.. I dont like to talk & laugh already.. Because my tears will drip down uncontrollable.. Juz now when they(family) were having their dinner, i was have a nap.. Coz i wish to rest my brain.. Think whole day already.. Really tired.. After 1 hour nia.. i woke up already.. still thinking of tat things AGAIN.. Haiz.. I feel vomiting n fever.. then lying on the sofa again lor.. Parents asked me to eat but then i have no mood to eat.. Everything juz shake my head.. Seldom talking already.. Tears r always in my eyes.. I really cant tahan.. Why i m so useless.. a bit things then cry le.. ='(
8++ p.m.. Watching tv with my family members.. I was juz thinking n dreaming there.. Wat the heck m i doing in this whole day?? I juz refresh back wat i did.. Slowly tears come out again.. Then i go in the kitchen n wipe the tears off.. Dad was saw tat.. then i said nothing to eat already.. I was so hungry.. I think he tot i was juz hungry so cry.. But it was NOT!! Dad kept ask me go out for my meal.. I juz said don wan.. Because i scared i will cry out.. Saw many places tat we had been b4.. Feel so sad.. Then finally dad gave me RM160 for asking me out juz to eat a small bowl of porridge n with se-she-chao(Haiz.. juz drink it last nite..
I m not going to school tomorrow.. Because now feel very uncomfortable.. *vomit* tat's real.. Parents controlled my meal also.. Cannot eat this n tat.. Quite pity.. But i noe they love me ma..
Now is 11++ p.m....... I really dont dare to close my eyes n sleep...... I scared i will cry again......... I really scared really scared really scared without ur accompany... I need someone to accompany but finally i m FAIL.... such a FAILURE!!
I dint say anyone's wrong.. I juz wish to tell the truth out.. Because i have NOBODY already.. ='(
Tonight, i really need to be alone in a big room with my Tears AGAIN.. Haiz..
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