My situation right now.. T.T

I donno wat should I do next.
I donno wat m I going to do next.
I donno how to face you anymore.
I donno how to communicate with u somemore.
I donno how much u hate me.
I donno wat did u do behind me.
I donno how can I forget about it.
I donno why are we still friend.
I donno why I m so unlucky.
I donno how to put down the passed.
I donno who M I lately.
I donno whether someone is still missing me.
I donno who love me but I know my family Do of coz.
I donno who to trust now.
I donno wat is called FRIEND.
I donno why I m so useless.
I donno why I cant think positively.
I donno why I m not attractive anymore.
I donno why I did those Silly mistake in the CIE.
I donno wat is the result will be.
I donno why m I so emo.
I donno whether my parents felt disappointed to me.
I donno If I go sg then my parents will be very bored o not.
I donno whether my sis is bothering abt the uni.
I donno whether my bro will angry me if he noe tat I broke his radio.

I noe I m very BAD.
I noe I keep Saying nonsense tat this world is UNFAIR.
I noe I did not do well in the CIE.
I noe I lose to myself.
I noe my result drop seriously.
I noe I gonna get rotan after I get my result next year.
I noe I m not the perfect one in anyone of your heart.
I noe I cant get straight A's in this Exam.
I noe I really fed ed up of this exam n I gonna GIVE UP.
I noe I m the worst in my family.
I noe they dont like to listen to my story everytime.
I noe the 'team' is really heartless n useless to let me work like a Shit.
I noe I m not the ONE in someone's heart.
I noe I love my family.
I noe my family love me TOO.
I noe friends are likely to be enemy someday.
I noe WE dont have the fate to be together.
I noe I m juz wasting my time to complaint complaint here.

I promise tat after this As exam, I gonna work hard for the A2.
I noe it is too late but it's ok tat at least I try my best.
I promise I will face forward n head to Singapore for further studies.
I promise I will let everyone noe how successful I m.
I agreed that they will regret as wat they did.

*I will publish out my result after I received it on 27 Jan 2010.
See how terrible it is. T.T

Everything is not in my expectation.
B'coz of the papers tat I sat those daysssss.
Really sad n BAD.. X.x
IS it because of the high expectation from everyone, n therefore I m so depressed after I sat the CIE??
Haiz..... I m so SORRY!!! I promise this is the LAST time I get such poor result.
I should CHeer Up by NOW!!

=)

Late Update!

Sorry tat I was late for 1 week.. Last week was my 18th Birthday.. There was a surprise party held at Siamese Secret n Sport Cafe..
The story goes like this,
Cathy was asking me for a dinner on Sat coz my birhtday is around the corner.. Then we had dicided where to go n etc.. I didn't realise tat I got fool by all of them.. Coz only me n her noe we r going out on tat nite without telling others.. On Sat, around 7.10p.m, Cathy came n picked me up n we reached there about 15 or 20 mins later.. We found a seat n sat down, ordered foods then watching tv there.. haha.. Around 8p.m, I heard a familiar sound clearly from my back, once I turned my head over, Oh My....... It was THEM!! haha.. I so surprise n paiseh ler.. It was so late also.. haha.. They were so success tat I never think abt tat.. =.= They so pro again, didn't talk any of it in school.. Pro Pro!! hahaha.. After finished our food, they sang Birthday song to me then eat the cake.. Quite nice.. But the Price was nice also.. >.< Aduhai, I m so sorry tat let u guys spent so much tat night.. =( Sorry, But very Thank You Thank You Thank You to u guysss o.. =) Opss.. The price was RM 232.23.. Nice number btwn.. Haha.. After tat, It was 10p.m, we went to Sport Cafe which suggested by Kim Fui.. Haha.. 1st time I entered it, n felt strange also.. We sang one song only.. =( Me n Hui Jin sang together 祝我生日快乐 n Cathy n Kim Fui sang 男人女人.. It was fun actually.. We drank beer? at the same time.. Haha.. I met Fliss there n it was her birthday zun zun tat day, but I failed to celebrate with her.. Sorry n Happy Belated Birthday.. =) The we went home around 11++p.m..

Erm.. There is plenty of details n I lazy to type already.. Anyways, THANK YOU so much, GUYS!! Love u all!! =)

Here is the group photo..

From left hand side, Cathy, Jia Hui, Hui Jin, Ching, Arvin, Noorul, Esther, Kim Fui, Karlyn..

WOrds from Ching, I really happy tat day n it should be a memorable day for me in my life as well.. Once again, THANK YOU SO MUCH, GUYS!! Muakzz! Again, Happy 18th Birthday to Ching.. =)

More pics at facebook.. Feel free to have a look.. Thankzzz!! =)

CrazyThursday?

Actually no mood to update my blog de. But bo bian lor, jia hui asked me to update. Haha. ok lor, Then let's share to u all wat had happened today. Today is Thursday lor. Raining raining there, very sianz. Luckily dint wear slipper to school. The weather was damn BAD n made me bother the whole day. The class is DAMN noisy also especially physics class in the afternoon. Some of those memang bo otak a. Sianz to hear their Voice. Canteen's food is getting LOUSY n I still need to stay there abt 1 more year. Argh! All the foods were ORange in colour seems so disgusting. Yucks!! Everyday eat kolok-mee also will sianz de e. So shit! When they gonna change the foods o? Plz la.. Today went to marrybrown for lunch with jia hui, cathy, esther n karlyn. We had ordered porridge n We actually wanna COMPLAINT them. Haha. Tat jia hui lor! Ish.. haha.. Honestly, there is very dirty n the spoon are damn damn damn dirty. We washed it b4 used BUT BUT BUT still very dirty. Eeee... I wan go on MON coz got my favourite set meal n got 20% discount ONLY on mon. Haha. Then the 2 hours physics time, we super hyper active, played around in the beginning of the class. Really sianz of the Cambridge International Examinations coz it juz take so long time to finished juz FOUR subjects MAN!! From 15Oct until 20Nov a!! Then pity us lor. Continue class until 3rd Dec09. Coz we r too lousy.. haha.. Really lar!!

I post these pics on purpose. Who asked jia hui wan me to update. Hahaha!!


-This is her car lor. Rich ppl. Drive new car! Haha. 1st time she parked her car so steady n straight in the parking place. Haha!-


-Pro Cathy! Almost kissed jia hui's butt. hahaha. See how rich they r! Drive expensive car. Hahaha!-


-Neh!! My PRO physics teacher is discussing the ans with us. Haha. He so cute!-


-Nah! This is jia hui who juz sit in front of me. Haha. Easy to jio her as I used to.. hahaha! She was so hot n faning herself(Excuse me, we r in air-con room e! Haha! Weird jia hui! hahahahahahaha!!) But unforturnately, She can BULLY Ching so easily aswell. Hahaha!!-

Hoi!! Friendship is so magic. Dont spoil it n be friends forever GUYS! Haha!
Stay sweet everyone n do not forget our CRAZY time! Yo!!~

Yeah! Different ler!!

Last Saturday was 26th of September, me n my parents had been invited to a wedding dinner at Imperial hotel, ball room which is at 5th floor. We managed to reach there earlier, erm it was abt 6.50p.m something. We sat at table no.53 n it was juz beside the stage. We had a clear looked for the 'prince n princess' of the nite. They are nice anyway. haha. When the ceremony started, there was a 3-years-old kid sang a song. She is damn CUTE. But her voice juz like a KID. Whahaha. I din took any pic of her coz I m shy to do so. haha. I wear a singlet n skirt tat nite, n I realised tat I don have any others nice dress or watever. So, I decided to wear something Simple. hehe. Here are the pics tat I took after I reached home with my web cam. =) Here we go,

Take 1,


Take 2,


I m not gonna put all here coz some are not really satisfied with it. hehe. I prefer this two. =)
Oh yea. The foods was so special, it was not same as other restaurant. I ate the lamb, It was actually nice n that was the 2nd times I ate LAMB. haha. The smell was weird but I felt ok with it. =) I love the foods there. haha.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Next, Here are the schedule for the coming As FINAL which I keep mention in the last last last post. Wish I all the Best n grab a Fantastic result so tat I wont waste the money n TIME. I sure I can do it.
My target of coz 3 A's. Physics, Chemistry n math MUZ get an A's but I more prefer my math can get an A*. THe * means tat almost perfect score. THis is my target!! CT i didn't care much obviously. I can get a PASS then good enough already. Haha.

Schedule of the FINAL exam, (Time are not confirm yet for As)
15 Oct Pure math 1 (Math)
21 Oct Thinking skills Multiple Questions
23 Oct (UEC-RRSS) Physics 1.55p.m.-4.30p.m.
26 Oct (UEC-RRSS) Add-math (1) 8.25a.m.-11.45a.m.
27 Oct Thinking Skills Structure Questions
29 Oct Chemistry practical
03 Nov Physics Practical
04 Nov Math Statistics
04 Nov Chemistry Structure Questions
13 Nov Physics Multiple Choices
16 Nov Physics Structure Questions
20 Nov Chemistry Multiple Choices

Last?

Today is the last day of my one week holiday. Within this week, I did nothing n juz relaxing until today. I was so moody in this week which i couldn't find any reason also. I felt so down n I actually din msn or message quite often b'coz of the receiver never reply it. I m fine b'coz I get used of being a lonely women. I m so GLAD tat I wasn't do any of my homeworks n getting ready to be scolded by the teacher the next day. I m READY!
Remember last time, I didn't finished juz one set of my exercise then i got scold. I felt so sorry to myself but not the teacher. I hate abt tat because tat was juz my 1st time tat I din finished her homework. I asked myself not to hate the teacher but I juz cant control myself. I hate the world but I still cant blame the God. B'coz i noe i m the one who do wrong things. I blame myself more! I m ok with the teacher who never scold the guys in my class who din finished the works. I hate the teacher become so UNFAIR. Guys or Gals are equal dont u noe tat?? There is no one who will listen to me n yet I still donno wat did I do wrong to him/her. Juz b'coz of last week? I wish...... Haiz. It is too late to explain to u or to me n I noe u will never ever listen to me anymore. The exam is around the corner n I should off myself n else force myself to study but not missing u the whole day, day dreaming everytime or waiting for ur message day or nite. I shouldn't expect u to love me but I wish we can be friend like last time. U never noe I m talking abt u but FINE!! Everything was overed n now i should start studying but not waiting until I regret abt my studies like last time. I noe wat I m doing n I m very sure tat this is my way. U got ur ways but I also have mine. Now, I will concentrate on my studies more n i will seldom on9. If u understand me, U will come n find me coz I need u. I must tell u tat TRUST UR FEEL n dont feel regret next time. Find the one who U love the most. I donno when I m going to oversea for my studies n I also donno when I will forget about u n leave the world. Lastly, I miss u n love u.. But I couldn't find the way to ur heart. Sorry, plz forgive me!

=Ching=

Friday! CrAP!

I hate today! Today is Friday.. I had a terrible dream last nite or else i can called it this early morning.. I dreamt abt a green GHOST.. GOSH!! I actually scared of this kinda of thingy.. Haiz.. I woke up at 8.30 a.m this morning n told my parents wat i had dreamt abt then they said i was juz stressed out myself n mayb I m thinking too much coz this month is ghost festival or I m bothering abt TAT thing again.. I cant stop myself to think abt him each time.. Wat is this mean? I doesn't wish this to happen also but wat can i do? wash my brain? how? Tell me plz!!! Ok, I then went to bath n had my breakfast then went to school. I dont like the CT class n so I alway go late. I reached school at abt 9.10a.m. I sat in the class n realise tat I didn't bring my jacket to school today. Obviously, my memories gonna lose so soon n my brain is Full of *SHit*. I stored too much studies thingy into it due to i m going to have my MOck exam next week. Haiz.. Today I felt uncomfortable b'coz I gonna SICK le. Not love sick plz.. I got sore throat today n a bit of fever. Haiz. Every exam period like this de. Wat's wrong???? I hate tat!! Since primary school, I alwayz sick at the exam period n remember i had my almost every semester exams in the teachers' staff room. But now it is different story already. No more caring like a Mummy. Last last month which was JULY n I had a semester test, I also got sick for one week which is my study week, within tat week, I didn't study at all. Haiz.. How come there is a lot of unnecessary things happened to me when it is in a very important time?? Crap la!! Times go so fast. Monday will have my chemistry exam which I worried the MOST. Coz I love tat sub b'coz it is challenging. hehe. U can said I m crazy. haha. Then Tuesday is math which I had too much confidence on it n alwayz did careless mistakes n rushing to finished it faster.. wed I will off on tat day n thurs I have my physics test n afternoon time I actually have a Badminton Competition at RIT. No idea abt it coz every teams are average. Haiz. Fri i will have my CT exam which is the sub tat I HATE the most. =( Hmm..

I miss him very much today!
I HATE today!
I hate myself when I miSS Him..
I hate myself alwayz GET SICK!!!!
Shit!!!
Hate hate hate!!

Sophia Chiiiing..
Hate!!!!! =(

爱上不该爱的人

最近心情很复杂。 我觉得并不是考试要到了，而觉得是感情上的事情。爱到底是什么？我怎么知道我已爱上了他呢？ 之前的感情事件我已彻底的忘了。我也不知道我是怎么办到的。甜蜜的感觉都消失在我的世界里了。我不相信永远，也不相信承诺。我只相信眼前的一切，之前就算是我瞎了，有了不应该有的爱情。我很笨没有错，也很丑，所以我觉得我不配，你们都对！算了，现在在我的脑海里藏着一个人，时时刻刻他都会浮现在我的脑海里，这代表着什么？难道这就是所谓的爱吗？有时我很喜欢和他聊天，但是我恨他消失。我也不知道我自己，我不敢去爱他，还怕他会有一天也会不爱我，这不是历史重演吗？我害怕这一天的到来，害怕爱他太多。有时我还会猜想他在那里，在干些什么。有时也会吃醋，听他口口声声说那女孩的故事时，我会胡思乱想，他会不会喜欢的是她而不是我。我很想看到他，但又很恨看到他，他的冷漠，每次都让我很生气。生气并不是每次暴力的生气，而是斗斗他的生气。他让我开心，这是我很认可的。我不敢去找他，害怕他不理我，闲我烦。我只好等他主动来找我，那就足够了。聊天其实可以让我很开心，我喜欢找他发泄，把不开心的事都丢给他，过后的我一定很开心。=）

我很肯定我自己，我不可以喜欢他，也不可以爱上他。

虽然我觉得是爱上或喜欢上了他，但是我万万不可以这么做。

因为我已爱上了不该爱的人，就是我所谓的‘他’！ =（

-爱-

Sophia Ching.. >.<

A special post for Wawa, my Baby..... ='(

Let's me introduce her..

Name: Wawa
Age: Nearly 1 years old
Description: Active n brings happiness to Kiew's Family
Date of dead: 14-08-09
Reason: I donno..!! 90% is sicK..

Everything was happened yesterday.. Yesterday was Friday obviously, I went to school at 9a.m sharp.. Mummy fetched me to school n wawa was followed too.. Coz mum decided to bring her to Bettie there to check up after going market.. I played with her in the car as usual then it was very cute tat she actually 'standing' up n enjoy the view outside.. 1st time I saw her do this kinda of things.. Now I juz realize tat she gonna dead so soon.. Haiz.. After my class, I went to kat's house to revise for the coming exam few weeks later.. After tat mum picked me home.. When I reached home, I shout on WAWA loud, But I din hear her sound n her 'ling long' sounds.. I self weird on it at 1st, n find around my house, then din't find her.. Oh damn, I was so worried n mum asked me to call dad whether he brought her to walk walk or wat.. But....!!! My dad said, It WAS DEAD!!!! Unfortunately we r too late to send her to Bettie.. Haiz! Wat's wrong???? Wat happened to it? Why leave us so sudden?? WHY??? I dont believe it n i wished my dad was cheating me.. But it was THE TRUTH n cant change anything le.. Haiz.. The tears dripping down when me n mum received the bAd news.. Then I went to bathroom, crying while bathing.. After tat, I had my dinner with whole family n we didn't even talked to each others n juz keep quiet the whole nite.. I m crying during the dinner time also.. Cousin also din talk n he might noe wat had happened also.. Brother came back n shout to wawa as usual, b'coz wawa loves to play with my bro n my bro is smelly after works.. She really likes it.. When I heard the word, WAWA, I start to cry again.. Bro asked me wat had happened n asked me where izzit, then his eyes were red in colour n i think he also gonna cry.. After tat, I went to tuition at 6.35p.m n i knew I was very late.. I drove myself there.. Parked my car as near as possible, then ran to upstairs.. Back home, I drove without safety belt due to i forget to do it then when reached home, I juz realize.. I was no mood for whole nite, friend msg me n comfort me n finally i felt better.. I missed wawa n I love it very very much.. I watched badminton comp on channel 816 b4 I sleep.. Lee Chong Wei from Malaysia lose the games, n Lin Dan from China won the games.. I think this time both of them wont meet each other le.. Around 11 or 12 something, Raining heavily n the thunderer was scary.. I hide into my blanket n crying still!! Duh!! I missed wawa!! N the thunderer scared me at the same time.. Parents noe tat sure I very scared of it then they knocked my door n asked whether I fall asleep already.. But then I opened the door quickly n saw me cried then they asked me to go to their room to sleep for a night.. Donno wat time, Cried till fall asleep n I met WAWA in my dreams.. She changed a bit tat her fur was not tat smooth as last time n i guess it still sick.. I cant touch it because it has electricity on her body.. N when I woke up, I guess tat last night the rain n the thunderer was HEW, WAWA!! My eyes are popping out today n remember Kat said my eyes very 'zhong' when we met at Sushi King juz now for lunch.. I act like nothing happened of coz.. B'coz I noe sure I will cry if mentioned the word, WAWA!!!


Sushi King's Cup.. Green Tea inside..


THe set meal tat I ordered.. >Salmon Steak< Not bad, quite Nice..

Ok, The sad news for all of u.. ='(

Wawa, rest in peace!!!
We LOVE you, n MISS you!!!
=THe cutest pet tat I ever have n U r the 1st puppy tat made our whole family cried for u=

='(
Sophia Ching..

Silent Mode... Shhhhh......

Currently, I m in silent mode.. Today, the whole class was very quiet in every class for no reasons, or juz mayb they r regretting about their result or juz not in mood to talk to each others.. Physics lecturer said tat it is juz temporary n let's see how we behave next week.. Is it the same as last time, a noisy n bad discipline class OR we start to study hard to achieve good result for the coming mock exams.. Hmm.. Let's see the result next week.. Erm.. For me, I m not really in mood to talk to anyone, n I felt like my life become shorter n my brain is FULL of STUDIES.. CHEMISTRY.. PHYSICS.. PURE math THREE.. n THe worst subject for me, CRITICAL THINKING.. I m not a critical thinker as my thinking skill is not good as others.. Haiz..

Okay, the result was out last two days, n I was shocked to see the result n it was EXPECTED.. Here r the result of mine for the LASt semester.. There is NO MORE semester exam for us.. T.T There is NO second chance for us.. Only the mock exam left n THE FINALSSSS.. Haiz haiz.. I only got 82 marks in my pure math(68/75) + statistic(35/50).. BUT BUT!!! The lecturer said tat if wan to get an 'A', we muz got 85 marks above to be SAFE.. CRAp!! 3 marks more ahhh!!! My chemistry got 71(obj-31/40, sub 40/60) n I m very happy with it(btwn, I m not doing good with the sub actually n I actually donate the marks to the lecturer.. haha.. Fine!!), coz I din study much on it n it was 11 chapters tat we muz cover to attend to the exam.. =) hehe.. THen my physics was DAMN LOUSY!! Sorry to the lecturer, my parents n myself.. HAha.. I was studied the revision paper tat lecturer gave, n I tot the questions will all come out from there.. Ahhhh!! Who noes!!! Non of it.. Shit!! N finally, I only got 57 marks.. Argh!! Really bek cek dint study the notes.. Haha.. Nvm, 33 days later have my mock exam already.. haha.. FINE.. Everything will be OK.. hehe.. This is how I comfort myself.. =) Oh yea.. Stupid critical thinking I got 60% But it was in the 2nd chance tat the lecturer gave.. If not, I m gonna FAIL tat subject.. haha.. Luckily!! Thankz god.. =)

Nowadays, I m getting fatter n fatter.. haha.. Same as the PIG.. N I m getting older already i think, b'coz I sleep late every night around 1.00 a.m. , then I wake up early in the morning e.. In the evening, I only have my nap for half an hour.. My life was changed after the result out n everything shouldn't same as last time.. I need more time to study n do the pure math 3 hw.. Every lecturer is rushing for the lessons.. Haiz.. make us suffering only.. Remember they said we r the lousiest badge of the students in A-level compare to the previous years, I felt so sad abt it.. They actually told the other group of the students abt tat n made us no face man.. I soooooooooo sad to hear abt tat.. Haiz.. Seems like we have NO HOPE at all.. =(

Last but not least, the haze in MIri is very serious.. This morning, my parents fetched me to school n on the way, I realize tat the view of outside is really BLUR n I dont even can see far far away.. In school, I can smell the smoke all around the compounds.. Even canteen or toilet also can smell it.. Haiz.. Wat should we do abt tat? Some classmates are starting to wear mask.. n I should ask mum to get few for me.. I m scared also.. Human are the one who creates all THESE 'VIRUS'.. Memang useless.. Duh..

Ok, it is time to go to do my homeworks.. =)
Sophia CHing,
-Silent Mode-
Mood juz as normal.. >.<

I dOOmed!!! =(

Ouuu man!! Today is 1st of AUGUST!! argh!!! Cham!!! Means tat there is still left 36 days to go for the MOCK exam!! Argh!!

CraP!! I did a stupid decision.. I DOOMed.. I m very sorry to my parents tat I wasted so much their money to have a violin class n until today i ended up with nOthinG.. Nothing means I din get any certificate with it.. Last last week, when I went to the class, teacher asked me whether I still wan to have an exam this end-of-year.. I failed to ans her.. After I checked my timetable, CRAP!! My Cambridge International Examination which is my As exam is held on 15th Oct to 20th NOV 09.. So, last week I confirm with the teacher tat I can't have the exam coz of time crushing.. Duh.. My decision today is.... I juz play some classical music n i might stop my theory after I done this book.. I felt sorry sorry n sorry to them.. It is a WASTED for me tat ended up with NOTHING!! I hate the words NOTHING!! Duh....

Last nite, I was chatting with classmate until late nite erm.. I think it was 1.00a.m.. I was doing mt theory at the same time.. Then we were talking abt the examination tat passed juz one day AGo.. haha.. After tat, of coz we are worrying the result.. Next mon we will get BOMB by all the lecturer!! I m so ScareD!! haha.. The next exam will be held in September.. I TOT it is something near end of the month.. BUT!!! I was WRONG.. It is actually 7th to 11st of sept.. Aduh!! Is this the reason tat made me cant fall asleep at night or it was actually early in the morning?? I slept at 2.30a.m due to I really cant fall asleep.. I m really stress!! Coz after this mock exam in sept, we gonna have the FANALLLLLLL!!!!!! I really really scared abt it.. It left 36 days to go for the mock!! I cant believe tat it is juz ONE month for us to study.. NO MORE TWO MONTHS or half of the year.. CraP!!!!! I shouldn't remind myself n make me myself suffer nia.. wat the hell!! But I really should FACE n ACCEPT the truth!! Haiz..

Let's start study from TODAY!! Hoho.. =)

旧情人永远都是敌人，但是你却和我是朋友。只有你办到吗？目前你是唯一的一位。。
请别误会，我只是无聊想找人陪我，和我聊天而已。
你的不回应是因为你睡着了吗？
我在此向你道歉，这么晚了还去找你。
哈哈。Wish u noe tat I m talking abt u.. YEah! YOU!!
hehe..

Time to go to study? haha!! Let's sing a song to relax myself FIRST.. haha..
Bye, I will update more often here luuu..
=Back to Normal Life!= Muakz!!

Sophia Ching,
=)