My exam days!! --so bad-- ='(

These few days.. I m damn bother!! Stress!!

Remember tat day i have my biology test on the next day.. i mean trial.. I studied of coz.. turn my reference book here n there.. Unfortunately i saw something.. I noe tat was passed.. Until today, it still keep in my mind.. I wish to cry.. but i tell myself i CANT... I saw a name tat 'modified' by me.. I was so down until now.. Everyday wan to k my books.. need to study.. but my mind was.... Full of 'tat'.. I dont noe how.. I dont noe why.. I m so moody after i saw it.. heart was really PAIN.. Just like the previous me.. With tears everyday.. I cant do anything with this kind of feeling.. This is not i wan to.. I scared this kinda things will influence my coming examination which is very very very important for me.. I did try my best everyday, every papers...

God, plz help me to clean my mind.........!! Plz!!!! unless there is another choice.................. But i prefer choice the next choice.....

Physics paper 2 no.8 was make me a fool!!! I so stupid.. Cant remember wat is tat force.. I was thinking of another similar formulae.. Damn!! Wat happen to me?? Haiz.. Disappointed to myself..

Chinese paper was really HOPELESS today.. I cant even read carefully.. Coz of my terrible mood.. So i juz write write then fall asleep on the table..

My vertebral column is really pain.. ='( Seriously!!! Should i go n have a consult or juz let it be? I m so sianz with this kinda things.. I think i sit too long on the chair when i had my revision n my test..... AaaarrrggggG!!!!! PAIN!!!! ='(

HappY BirthdaY!! --26 Oct 2008--

Edited by Ann.. Haha.. Cool~

When jane n lin preparing the birthday cake in the kitchen..

Haha.. Me n Ann was playing with the comp? haha..

A piece of cake.. Haha.. Jane cut it for me..

A birthday cake.. Haha..
It is a pizza.. Love to eat pizza..
Which is in mushroom favour..
Top r candles la.. Haha.. 17 years old.. YEAH!!

But this held at krokop 10... N it is on 25 oct 2008..........

A night with my 'REAL' smile n 'LAUGH' from my true HEART

=)

I'm 17 Years old!!

Yeah!! today is 26 oct 2008!! Which is my birthday!! Haha.. Erm..

I wish.......
Firstly, i wish i can get 3 more wishes......
-1st, i WISH i can target in my this coming SPM examination..
-2nd, i WISH my family n i will healthy n happy everyday juz same as now then enough.. Wish i wont get sick during the exams.. n tomorrow my headache will gone!!
-3rd, which is my last wish.. I WISH i will success in learning how to give up a thing? or a person?N also not thinking too much as wat my Friend said... Haha..

tat's all.............. =)

*i will update the 'events' tat happened last nite which is Sat nite*

CHing Busy wor.. >.<

Hehe.. Last night cant blogging.. Haha.. Fighting with my moral.. Hmm.. Nobody win.. Draw lor.. haha.. Coz result haven out.. so i dint noe.. But i m really not satisfied with my ans.. I answered it with unsure.. How? nvm then.. I will fight until the END!! This is my 1st trial n my last one.. So.. Juz work hard hard n hard!!

I m DAMN STRESS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Cut my hair luuuuuu~!! HAhaha.. Not bad~
Pimples also GONE!! YEAH!!!!! Muakz.. -Derm 10 the perfect skincare forever~-

Currently busy!!

--Schedule for these coming few days--

Friday which is today, I have my FIRST test.. Pendidikan moral.. From 8.00a.m to 10.30a.m.. then go home lor.. Ermm... this afternoon have my add.math tuition.. From 3.00p.m to 6p.m i think.. Coz no transport also.. so need to wait wait n wait lor.. Hmm... then i need to go to my friend's house for revising our B.m n sej... Which is my nightmare!! Haha.. I will work hard!!! No worries.. at least get credits!!! I dont k....

Tomorrow~Saturday......
Morning dont noe got tuition o not.. Heard tat it is public holiday.. Dont noe who birthday.. Agong? or me? Hahaha.. no lar.. i dont noe.. Erm.. if i have tuition then as usual lor.. from morning 9 to 12.. Then have my extra class for chemistry.. It is from 12.30p.m to 3p.m.. Huh?? How abt my lunch?? eat grass liao lor.. Sianz.. See 1st la.. Hmm.. then mayb i go home n have a rest lor.. Night time, few of my friends decided to come to my house.. I agreed with it.. But i juz received a news tat cousin's house got BBQ e.. Wa.. Hmmm... Why everytime like tat wor?? no idea bo.. Juz skip the BBQ la.. wat to do? Happy tat noone will stay at home lor.. Hahaha.. Hey!! It is OUR World!! Play until crazy lor..... Haha.. I sure they dont come back so early de lar.. Hahaha!!! Yes!!!

Sunday~
Which is my birthday!! BUT!! I stay alone this year.. B'coz exams is around the corner.. Morning as usual, helping parents for working.. then afternoon parents r going to work.. so ALONE at home.. but muz be study.. haha.. Nite time, parents stay there to have wedding dinner so i eat grass AGAIN!! wat the... Birthday day also so pity de... sianz.. Hmm... See 1st la.. Still long way to go.. it is tomorrow de tomorrow ba.. see la..

Monday, I have exams lor.. Parents going Kuching also... :'( Haiz haiz.. I should face this all things myself!!! :'(

--Will updated the process again--
Draft only la this one~

Wednesday!!

Oh man!! Today is Wednesday already.. 1 to 2 more days then i have my 1st days of SPM trial exams le!!! So so so nervous o.. How?? I have no idea also wor... Haiz..

This morning 1++a.m, me n my bro who had warning by parents tat cant go out at night n stay at home everyday already.. haha.. 'be-li-good-'... We did stupid things la.. haha.. we record funny video.. haha.. juz same as the drama.. haha.. laugh until crazy at the area of upstairs living room, near my study room.. haha.. really funny la.. recently sleep with my parents.. really happy.. haha.. got ppl help me put on blanket.. whahaha!! their gal gal forever ba.. haha..

Today's schedule really rush.. time was FULL!! Morning woke up at 9+ then bath n had my breakfast.. then rush to my friend's house.. Abt 12 noon, we went to pustaka 2gather.. of coz her mum fetch us not on foot la.. so far.. hahaha.. Ermmmm... 2p.m, my mum came n pick me home, coz i need to prepare for my next 'activities'.. TUITION la!!! hahaha.. Have my Add.math tuition lor.. from 3p.m to 5p.m then rush home again, after bath n dinner then go to have my phy n chem tuition again... which is from 6p.m to 9.pm... I m not tired rite now.. haha.. b'coz i had a nap during my tuition.. Coz i fall asleep ba.. sorry, teacher!! Raining also me.. cold cold de.. nice e.. hahaha...

Today received a really BAD news from my chem teacher ler.. ONE more extra Class on sat at 1p.m to 3.30p.m e!!! Haiz.. My plan was spoilt AGAIN!! actually i wan to go to my friend's house to have our revise.. Who noe??? Haiz haiz.. Suddenly feel like I m damn busy.. BUT.. I like it!! ^^ hahaha.. I wont think too much lor.. juz concentrate on my studies!! But i m still confusing..@.@ abt my friends...............

--Busy day!! I love it so much!!--
Enjoying~

Stress!!

Recently, I m really stress.. until i dont noe wat should i going to do.. I can day dreaming for minutes.. Haha.. Crazy..

This morning woke up at 11 plus.. Guess why.... B'coz lazy la.. Hahaha.. Then continue n finished my movie lor.. After tat i took a bath, watch tv again.. then study the literature then go for tuition le.. It is 3pm.. I do it non-stop.. friends asked me stop do it coz i very hin already.. talk like a drunk ppl.. terbalik de.. but i ignore them.. Today no transport to go home, so need to wait until 6p.m then my cousin came n pick me.. He so unhappy i noe.. coz he was having his nap.. but sorry la.. ppl wan exam already ma.. pa pa wor..

After reached home, have my dinner with soup but without rice.. M i on diet? no la.. haiyo.. i so slim already.. i wont do this stupid things la.. haha.. Then after i had my bath i went to my friend's house to study.. Until 11.55p.m, dad came n picked me.. but i din't noe he is waiting downstairs n he din bring his phone also.. plus it is raining.. so he waited me for 15 to 20 mins le i think.. He was angry.. I m really SORRY to my dad.. I din mean wan u to wait me for so long.. SORRY!! Plz forgive me.. today really wan faint down already.. plz.....

ChInG=Robot........

Wa.. Last nite? or this morning i slept at 4a.m.... Rushing for my movie--命中注定我爱你-- (a nice movie..) but not studying o.. Haha.. Coz i have tuition tuition so many things to rush so no time to watch it.. So took my sleeping time to watch lor.. It is really romantic a.. Haiz.. Love it so much.. Muakz.. No wonder so many ppl also rushing for this movie.. haha.. but i almost finished le.. last nite finished 6 chapters.. Haha.. then i still leaf few chapters only..

This morning i woke up at 11a.m... Haha.. shhhh.. i m really pig o.. lie on the bed dont wish to get up.. Haha.. After long long time later, Then washed up myself n continue the drama.. haha.. until 2.30p.m.. Oh man.. tuition a!! then i go bath quickly la.. almost 3p.m then i reached there.. Haha.. i tahan there until 5p.m.. ahaha.. No problem for me la.. pro ba.. hahaha... Then came back, take a bath again n have my delicious dinner then go another tuition again.. Which is phy n chem.. From 6p.m to 9p.m.. Wa.. tired la.. haha.. Continue the drama again la.. But in my hands was my add math exercise la.. haha.. guess wat happen next?? I were so hungry lor n go cook something very nice for my supper o.. Hahaha.. 2 package of mee.. Haha.. pig rite?? HAhaha.. nvm..

Really busy these few days.. eat+sleep+study+do extra exercise+ tuition+music practice+watch tv+on9(but normally not there haha.. lazy to sign out ba..)+helping parents for work+doing some housework+etc....
AM I A ROBOT??
I think so.. I seldom complaint it out.. Robot ma.. no feeling at all.. haha.. Unless it is very serious la.. so i m kinda stupid rite? Always think abt others.. Seldom think abt myself de la.. coz i dont wan ppl hate me... So i do wat they wish to.. to fulfill them.. not to hurt them.. But i really useless horr.. Noone will understand wat i did for.. Noone will noe also.. Even my best friend also blur with it..

K la.. Going to o o le.. TIRED moo... ='(

Midnight? Morning?

Yea.. I dont really noe now is midnight or morning.. Haha.. Now is abt 2.20a.m....

Today is Sunday.. A working day for me.. Morning work with my parents.. Then afternoon i study eng n do the set paper until fall asleep on my desk.. I might too tired already.. Everyday sleep at 1.00 a.m.. I m really scared tat the examinations days r getting near n nearer.. I m really SCARED.. No 'special' person care for me.. Sometimes really forget tat i need a rest.. Last nite tears were drop uncontrolled.. I did tell my parents.. they said i might too tired already.. nvm then.. I should busy myself.. I dont need ppl cares.. coz this is my 'NEW' life.. Really scared.. scared.. scared............................

At abt 5++ I woke up.. I was so angry to myself y will fall asleep so easily.. angry myself did NOTHING these few days.. Even today also learn nothing.. Why? wat happened to me actually? I haven get used of it? i juz mean my life.. Then i went to bath n prepare for my tuition.. After have my dinner then go lor.. But i never feel tired o..

After tuition, of coz i m going home.. But i cant find my car.. i mean cant find my parents or anyone who will come n pick me on time usually.. BUT!! it was no!! I waited there nearly 15 mins.. I cant have a call to them.. coz i dint reload for my phone.. Juz Wait ALONE there.. In a Dark night...............

Went home, i continue to the eng.. then do a set of add math.. now then blogging.. I think i should o o now.. Tomorrow still need to study my Bm n sej.. But dont noe whether can rush it o not... Coz i have tuition also.. Afternoon 2.30p.m to 6pm.. then 6pm to 9pm... But i dont think i can stay from 2.3o to 6.. so i might go home earlier...

Finally i can busy up myself.. Full time work.. not part time already.. hahaha.. Phew~ I need someone to have text with me.. hehe.. I cant have any relationship already i think.. I should noe my future.. FUTURE!! I cant disappoint my parents le.. I noe this coming SPM examinations result will let them disappointed.. I m really SORRY...to... dad & mom!!!

--I think so?--

You should have told me from the start

That you didn't have love in your heart

But I think you can

Could it be I'm just not the right woman

I just don't know what I did wrong

Maybe you never wanted to get close to me all along

I remember one day you said you'd give me a chance

And now it seems you are taking that back

What was I supposed to do

It was so easy to fall in love with you

You told me after all you've been through

You don't have a drop of love left in you

Why didn't you tell me that you felt this way

So I could let you be and I could walk away

And before my had love had time to grow

It hurts me so much that I know

That if I ever ask you if you love me

You will always say no........

==Until i met You==

Before I met you,

I thought I was happy,

and I was,

but I had never known

the rich contentment,

deep satisfaction,

and total fulfillment

you brought to me

when you came into my life.

Before I met you,

I felt a lot of things,

good things,

but I had never experienced

the indescribably intense

feelings I have for you.

Before I met you,

I thought I knew myself,

and I did,

but you looked deep inside me

and found fresh new things

for us to share.

Before I met you,

I thought I knew about love,

but I didn’t,

until I met you.

Wonderful~ ^.^

Today is Friday.. I love today so much.. Haha..

Morning, i woke up at 8.30 like tat.. then i went to continue my set paper.. But unfortunately, my comp din't work out.. then i restart it again.. but still cant... got so many errors came out.. then i switched off everything, even the Internet cable also.. Then lie on the sofa.. I have no idea wat to do.. Even print also cant.. Then after a mins, i switched on again.. but then YES!! ok already.. closed all the error then continue use it.. Haha.. then have my breakfast-------'yun tun'...... Haha.. then continue my work until 9.30++ then i go take a bath n get ready to go for BADMINTON!! Yeah!!

When i reached there.. Oh man!! Nobody.. I tot ppl put me aeroplane o... Hahahahaha... HAha.. wait almost half an hour then we start our games.. 3 ppl only ma.. + other 2 la.. haha.. I m the Village champion, then my 2 friends, one is Sarawak champion n another one is world champion.. HAha.. Really proud can compete with them.. Hahahahaha!! BUt i won the Sarawak champion o.. Whaha.. During the games, we all laugh until lie on the floor.. Wa... Really sat.. so happy ba.. Can use my new racket also.. Haha.. The Sarawak champion keep sing with me to jio the world champion ma.. Haha.. But the world champion keep jio us also with the slang of orang malayu? or angmo.. like wat u have seen on tv la.. (same same only) then smash ppl o....haha.. pain a... Haha.. (But i dint kena la.. She kena nia.. Whahaha!!) all r girls ma.. Dont think we so chai o.. Lihai yi xia o.... hahaha..

Then we have our next activities which is plan to go to my house for 'STudy' Hahaha.. U think we got study a? Wish to... But dont have the mood.. Girls ma.. sure got many things to talk de o.. Then we start to have our conversation lor.. HAha.. About 4.45p.m, they need to go home already.. I juz realise tat........ I haven BATH!! Ahh!! smelly.. Then i go bath after they went home.. haha.. How a wonderful day.. Thankz for accompany girls.... Hehe..

Then NOW i should start to STUDY again.. YES!! Nothing bother le.. Can concentrate le.. YEAH!! >.<

Ohhhh....

Today.. Nothing special la.. Juz miss my badminton day so much!! The match haven finished la.. Haha.. Dont forget a.. Hmm.. I think 1 month din go for exercise already.. Become a fat pig already.. Haha..

I m juz live in a lonely world this 2 months.. Almost crazy already.. Hahaha.. Talk to myself sometime.. Hahaha.. Oppsss.. So long dint practice my violin already.. Sure will kena la.. After my SPM muz practice ah!!! Chan lor...... So lazy also ba.. Haha.. See the notes, the the clef n so on.. OMG!! HAha.. Lazy Lazy!!!

These days, i so free like hell.. Dont have the mood to study ba.. Haha.. Juz sleep, watching tv, eat n check email n blog...Haha.. So happy i changed my layout already.. 'I LOVE YOu'.. haha.. the title ba.. So love it so much lor...

Aiya.. I admit la.. Still L*** him la.. Haiz.. haha.. Dont dare to find him.. i have no courage.. ahahaha.. After Spm la.. see lor... Haiz.. pa pa a me... :( Eeeeeee...... Haha..

Yeah!! next Sunday is my DAY!! YEAH!! But............................. Haiz... Haha.. nvm la.. Suan liao.. Tuition tuition n book book book lor.. All non-living things.. Hahaha!!! Watever then..

>.<

Hehe.. today is Tuesday.. Which is the 1st day of our study leave..

This morning, i woke up at 8++ then washed up myself.. Then don have my breakfast today.. Drunk a cup of 'yan wo' then full already.. Haha.. Then i wan to start study.. But dad is watching a movie called '对不起老师'.. watched half-way only, dad said too touching.. Dont wan watch already.. Hahaha.. Seems like he gonna cry already lerrr... Then i helped my mum to mop the floor.. Mum was mop upstair then my downstair.. Haha.. then i continue my studies.. 1 hour later, i fall asleep on the sofa..

when i have awake, it is already 2 o'clock.. I run up to my study room n continue again lor.. Then went to do facial with my mum.. Oh man!! Pimples!!! stress+pressure=PIMPLES!! hahaha.. Came home, do the trial paper then help my parents working as usual.. Haha.. Have dinner at home tonight!! Yeah!!

Good girl = ChInG = today.. Muakz..
>.<

A Day~

Today, felt headache so din go to school.. Watching tv n study at home.. A bit busy so din visit my own or others blog..

Last nite was Sunday.. I had a small meeting with my parents.. I suggest tat i wan to 'transfer' to their room to sleep with them.. I told them i dont wish to have the lonely feeling like now.. they agreed with me.. THen i went up to my room n start moving lor.. I feel sorry abt tat.. I noe i shouldn't disturb 'adults' life' but i wish they can accompany me.. Haha.. coz only them can company.. Friendz all very busy.. ='( haiz..

So, nowadays i sleep with parents lor.. But only night time la.. Day time still ALONE~.....
Nvm then... Haha..

Nice song!! -match to me-

梦里常常出现重复的画面
仿佛古老神话才有的情节
有着不合实际浪漫的誓言
那是我前生的世界
故事没有结束就画下句点
时光隧道唤醒沉睡的梦幻
悲剧的承诺我不能重演
我要寻找新的起点
狂热night
独自在街上徘徊
every night 只希望你能够出现
想你night
还是不见你过来
总是无法控制情绪难涯
悲伤朱丽叶
悲伤朱丽叶
长夜漫漫无法入睡
总是不见罗密欧而流泪......... T.T

Go search it!! really nice & meaningful.. Mayb for me only la.. Haha..

Opinions of MIne?? =)

Today is Saturday la.. Really bad mood.. I tot i can happy everyday already.. But.... I was FAIL!!

First, i dont really noe which is true or false already.. Some really good to me.. Some really like to cheat me.. But i cant differentiate anymore.. i juz treat all as my NORMAL frien le.. BUT...got some special for me la.. I really dont k who badmouthing behind me, hate me n etc.. Nowadays, i try to accept everything le.. Talk to them, make fun with them n chatting with them even though i noe tat some really hate me like heck.. Saw me somewhere juz same as see a ghost.. But I feel happy as long as u guyz reply me or ans me during the time tat we gathered.. Sometime i really don understand so i muz ask.. I will never noe if i keep in my heart for long term..

Heart was Broken today again!! i think it already become fragment le.. Haiz.. I heard something tat i really dont wish to noe.. If i din accept the truth, i will get crazy.. Actually i dont noe wat happen.. But really disappointed tat how it will be like this..?? Really tired to noe already.. During the season of mine, it was still ok ba.. Nvm la.. wat to do??

My decision made in last is....................... I dont wish to force myself to do wat i dont wish to do.. Forget anything is very very difficult.. so, i decide not to force.. Now onward, juz finished my SPM examinations 1st, then do my others things.. *~Wish my dreams will come true..~*

--Waiting......-- <===my ONLY way to go.... =)
-Smile everyday-

A messy day~!!

Today a bit special la.. coz exchange class with juniors.. SO i stay at 1st floor lor.. Quite scary.. It is quite dark there compare to my class.. Juz same as live in a dark.. Phew~ so sad..

Morning, we(my classsmates) dicuss abt how they get most of their desk n chair to upstairs which is our class but how abt us? But then we juz went to assembly lor.. After tat teachers also dont wish to teach coz she said it is not a suitable environment for study.. then do our own things whole day.. Quite boring la.. Oh yea, we arranged our table in a U-shaped.. Others students passed by our class juz said wa wa wa like tat lor.. Sat ler..

=Forever Ching~!!=

Ohhh Man!!!

Hoho... I bought my new racket already.. It cost Rm169.90.. But got discount la.. Quite happy.. It is yellow n black in colour.. my favourite colour ba.. Haha.. Shoes also yellow in colour... Haha.. I like light colour ba.. bo bian.. Light orange, light green n more.. Not dirty green.. is 'Chinese' green.. Haha.. I got a slippers also green in colour.. Really like light colour o.. haha.. Special ma..

Today, i went to school.. Wa.. so little students came.. Hmm.. they went home in the afternoon.. But i din.. hehe.. Guai ler~ But most of my teachers r not teaching de.. After the recess time, we all went to the hall for a special talk not motivation talk i think.. I was so concentrate o.. Hahaha.. But still the same things la.. Muz b more patient, hardworking n time management is very important.. Haiz.. Sianz!! But still got story to listen la.. Not bad also..

During the last period.. It is chemistry.. haha.. when the teacher is scolding my classmate, me n my friend(who sit beside me).. she quite kind.. teach me BM.. Haha.. We 2 laugh until crazy.. coz the teacher keep hit them with the paper roll in her hand.. But then we said

Unfortunately la.. I had counsel by my teacher yesterday.. But.. I really don wish to tell her anything.. Really lame.. Tat was yesterday.. Today le.. Counsel by my frien.. Wa.. I so laoya one meh.. Keep asked me dont look down myself n blablabla lor.. I said really ma.. Eeeee...... but thankz to have this kinda frien tat can help me wif my studies.. Which is my BM subject.. Alamak.. Really difficult moo....

SORRY!!

Sorry!! I will let u cool down... Fine.. Dont say anything bad abt urself.. I wont accept tat.. Haiz.. I juz worrying u so msg u.. I really din bring harm to u.. Nevermind then.. I wont message u n bother u already.. ='( I will wait the day again.. Wish u think clearly.. I really really.......... dont wish to bother u......... I dint blame anyone.. i cant do tat also.. I keep msg u is b'coz i wish to noe WHY.... Nothing else.... U changed so sudden also.. U r not evil not bad..... Haiz..... Anyway.. I cant say too much already.. later..... Haiz..... I noe u blocked me to be ur frien.. Nevermind then.. I understand u need a quiet place from nowon.. I really annoying i admit.. Sorry!!

----wat did i do wrong? Wat happen? When u start to b like this? Why? Why? Why?----

I really should keep quiet!!...............................................................................................................
:'( Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Today~

Today is actually my school day.. But i decide to not go to school.. It is because i was sick.. feel vomiting.. (sick+love sick) N i scared when i go to school, when i look at my desk... my tears will dripping down again.. I still remember...........

Last night was dreaming of YOU... I really cant control... Then suddenly woke up at 4 something.. Then i fall asleep again.. It is really difficult for me to RECOVER.. ='(

Morning, i woke up early.. coz i dont wan let my parents to worry abt me.. So i promised my parents to accompany them to go for climbing mountain at Oil lady there.. Which i went there with my lover b4.. I finished only 1.5 mountain b'coz i almost faint.. My brain is totally full of 'our' stuff Again.. I really cant stand with myself already.. tears tears tears.. Really DAMN!!! I really cant differentiate whether it is sweats o tears already.. Dad was accompany me.. Bring me to go see the SEA.. The OCEAN... I saw so much ship there.. Haiz.. Y parents alway bring me to somewhere tat will make me Cry?? I noe they did is for my good.. But I really dont dare to tell them.. They keep asking me how i feel.. Mum asked me to have a rest.. But i really need to have a nap.. SLEEP is only a things tat can make me feel comfortable.. But if i still wif him now.. It is the BEST!! but........................................................... ='( I might think too much.........

I m really suffering.. wif tears AGAIN..>
--Hurt so bad-- :'(
=Waiting for u to LovE me again=
~I really Love You~

A *silent* night....... Sunday!! ='(

I admit i m a girl tat always bring trouble to others.. Even though is others fault, i will also treat tat it is my own fault.. No choice.. I m a soft-heart girl , too easy to trust ppl, easy to fall in love deeply.........

I wish to release my pain.. Noone can help me i noe..
Ching wasn't eat whole day already.. No mood to eat.. Of coz parents r worrying.. I m so SORRY to them abt this.. But i cant speak it out.. I dont like to talk & laugh already.. Because my tears will drip down uncontrollable.. Juz now when they(family) were having their dinner, i was have a nap.. Coz i wish to rest my brain.. Think whole day already.. Really tired.. After 1 hour nia.. i woke up already.. still thinking of tat things AGAIN.. Haiz.. I feel vomiting n fever.. then lying on the sofa again lor.. Parents asked me to eat but then i have no mood to eat.. Everything juz shake my head.. Seldom talking already.. Tears r always in my eyes.. I really cant tahan.. Why i m so useless.. a bit things then cry le.. ='(

8++ p.m.. Watching tv with my family members.. I was juz thinking n dreaming there.. Wat the heck m i doing in this whole day?? I juz refresh back wat i did.. Slowly tears come out again.. Then i go in the kitchen n wipe the tears off.. Dad was saw tat.. then i said nothing to eat already.. I was so hungry.. I think he tot i was juz hungry so cry.. But it was NOT!! Dad kept ask me go out for my meal.. I juz said don wan.. Because i scared i will cry out.. Saw many places tat we had been b4.. Feel so sad.. Then finally dad gave me RM160 for asking me out juz to eat a small bowl of porridge n with se-she-chao(Haiz.. juz drink it last nite..).. I agreed!! Not because of money la.. It is because i wan a new racket baa.. So i agreed.. I wish to buy a new one so long already.. Finally i can grab it tomorrow..

I m not going to school tomorrow.. Because now feel very uncomfortable.. *vomit* tat's real.. Parents controlled my meal also.. Cannot eat this n tat.. Quite pity.. But i noe they love me ma..

Now is 11++ p.m....... I really dont dare to close my eyes n sleep...... I scared i will cry again......... I really scared really scared really scared without ur accompany... I need someone to accompany but finally i m FAIL.... such a FAILURE!!

I dint say anyone's wrong.. I juz wish to tell the truth out.. Because i have NOBODY already.. ='(
Tonight, i really need to be alone in a big room with my Tears AGAIN.. Haiz..

LoVE Wif TEARS!! ='(

Once upon a time, I was met with a guy who called Dear.. Sweet rite? =) We r friends.. But not long.. So not really noe each other much.. But i understand him la sometime... He brings happiness to me.......

One day, I was falling in love(deeply) with him.. We go out together, play around together, n bring me everywhere... (The story btwn r all SWEET!! So dont need to say la..)

But it is a day come so suddenly!!! The news tat i really dont wish to hear..I Received it, read it......... THe TEARS was dripping down.. The msg was from my only HIM.. Talk something lor..I noe it is no chance for me to return anymore.. Wat can i do??? I really don noe...... Finally i cried out loud in my bed.. Sunday ma.. Parents all went for working.. Juz left me alone at home...

I m really falling in love with him la.. Not to cheat also.. Everytime i said angry him o watever, it is juz make fun wif him.. coz i m a person who wan someone sayang also de ma.. But.................... I dont noe o... Mayb too serious already.. My fault also.. Really wish to say sorry to him.. But i really love him, need him, wan him.. How can i leave him so sudden?? Haiz... My brain is full of him ANYTIME.. Even dream also will dream abt him.. Really love him so much..........!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I noe i have no chance.. juz wait lor.. wat to do?? Noone can help me.. Noone will comfort me anymore.. I m alone n live in a really lonely new life.. I wish i wont get zhi bi la.. haha.. kidding.. Coz really seldom go out go out like tat.. I m really really really Damn SAD!! Full of u..!! How to concentrate in me coming examination? I dont dare to think abt it anymore..

no mood to study anymore.. Coz no 'spaces' for 'install' already..

=LOnely=moody=speechless=

Waiting u to Love me again!! =单恋也是一种幸福=

--My personal story-- Ching forever..--

Damn!!

Damn!! I m so angry today.. Not angry la.. moody la.. Haiz..

Morning, i woke up at something abt 8 a.m la.. then take my bath n have my breakfast with tv.. I alway go to my Saturday tuition late de la.. get used already.. coz very lazy n very sianz ma.. Then on the way to tuition, i met the JPJ at the roundabout near my house here.. The police blocked our car.. n check mum's license.. After tat we juz go ahead la.. no Big deal baaa....

Reached tuition, everyone juz like very bad mood lor.. I sat down n start my work.. Haiz!! i really don't noe how to do already e.. Damn difficult!!! Haiz.. HAte it hate it hate it!!! I tot i can handle my add math well already.. Who noes I DONT even NOE HOW TO DO La!!! like so many things i never learn b4.. --NO CONFIDENT ALREADY!!-- DISAPPOINTED aaa!!--Then my mood change badly.. start to revise my text book.. Sianz a!!! Then continue continue lor................................................................. Abt 11 plus, i really really cant tahan already o!! i went out of the classroom n chit chatting wif one of my classmate.. Very terrible la today...... Finally there is 12 sharp.. I go home la......

Reached home.. No mood to have my lunch... but parents not allow.. Then eat la.. Angry baaa..... after tat lazy to start my work 1st.. go to have a NAP!! then next thing is start my lousy add math again la... DAMN!!! still dont noe how to do o.. Only did few questions only.. then ok lor.. angry again.. Throw away all add math n start the passed year math paper.. I did the MCQ only.. But so happy tat i only took 40 mins to finished it.. then i went to help my parents to do some stuff la.. --Business-!! not tired la actually..

I rush to have my dinner n bath lor.. Coz i need to go out.. Today is Saturday ma.. Need to release stress also ma.. Go out walk walk, drink drink tea then go home le.. :) Still ok lar.. After bath then start the war again lor.. wat to do??

--Moody Mode today--

Friend??????

Friend??? Wat does FRIEND meanz??? To cheat ppl??? To comfort ppl??? FOR WAT???

Damn!! But i have such a friend like to do such things to me.. I can say i hate her.. But not only one her.. there is many many many of HER.. I m sorry tat i have kinda childish thinking.. I dont k how u gonna hate me.. But i can confirm tat U r the one who did wrong to me, cheat me!! Wat can I do? Kill U? Kidnap U?? No!!! i m not tat bad.. Haha.. I wont do such things to my "FRIENDS"!!! ok??!! I really feel very disappointed to have this kinda friend like U.. U r the example to all of ur friends u noe? No wonder there is many changes la.. (I mean somewhere..)All r b'coz of u??? I really dont understand wat is the "games rules".. Can u plz kindly tell me clearly? U treat me juz like a spair tyre.. i old liao no use already then juz throw me aside n found a new tyre.. But i treat u as a dog u like?? NO, RIte?? I also dont like to do tat.. I admit tat i m too easy to believe or trust a person.. I m the FAILURE!! U happy?? I have few friends tat b'coz of u then become enemy u know? U noe wat is my feeling?? U r cold-blooded i dont mind la.. But i m soft heart ok? Last time told me this n tat.. Now b'come their 'ANGLE', their 'BEST fRIENDS'... wat u gonna to do? Everytime say bad things to me.. Hate who who who.. Wat the!! U be my spy ha?? Tell me early ma.. I tell u whole story la.. wan?? i m waiting for u!! i like to challenge with YOU!! Come la!! I m a girl.. U r also a gal hor!! but we have much much much different!!! U r the angle, I m the DevIL!!!! happy?? U want to win i let u la.. Y do so many hurt ppl de things le?? Never think abt others de.. U more EVIL i tell u.. Now u juz secondary, still young la.. at least younger than me.. How u gonna be a successful person in the future life? Study pro is not everything i tell u!! Discipline not good u also USELESS!!!!!!! I m kindly to tell u tat, I HATE PPL CHEAT ME!!!

I wish to say sorry to my others friends tat, i m really sorry tat i might say something wrong tat day.. But i never realize tat.. Now, i really cant help anything already.. coz their mind was set by the words tat i spoke.. SORRY!! forgive me!! :'(